Honestly, I wish I had a more exciting subject to write about, but I really don’t. We have a regular family with regular problems. I’m just a regular person with ridiculous issues. I mean really, Jerry Seinfeld led a sitcom for years about nothing. But in all reality, I don’t think that shit works. I get it, people who don’t live that life are excited or at least interested in a life that doesn’t look like theirs. It makes sense. But normal people who lead ordinary lives don’t really have anything to describe other than someone telling them they don’t have an ordinary life. I think I understand that…
I would say I have an abnormally average life. But I assume everyone would. I was born in the state capitol, what used to be an insane asylum. Or was turned into an insane asylum. Anyway, crazy people and babies. Speaking of crazy people: my mom. I don’t think it’s her fault. She learned it from her mom. I love my Nana, but she was fucking crazy too. Not that anyone needed to know or even knew at the time.
Imma let you in on a little secret: my Nana started dying when I was 17.
Wish I was kidding. My sister picked me up in my Junior year and drove me down to Springfield where they lived, and really I thought she was dying. But lo and behold she recovers. I shit you not, she was sick and well for the next 20 years. Very confusing.
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Alrighty, so it’s been a minute since I’ve typed anything on here. The above genius was written when I was black-out drunk. Not kidding. Thankfully, I didn’t write anything too embarrassing, except calling my mom a crazy lady. Which she is, and many people might call me a crazy lady too! For example: I have a bright blue Mohawk right now. Really. I don’t have a good picture of it yet since I haven’t really done anything to my hair in the last few days. And if you’d believe it: I was STONE FUCKING SOBER when I did it. Thank the unicorn too, cause somebody would have put me in rehab if I did it while I was drinking.
In all seriousness, I really thought about just cutting my hair and making it a normal color again, but then I thought to myself: FUCK IT! I’m 45 years old and I’ve never had a Mohawk in my life. I’ve shaved my head, I’ve had so many different unnatural colors in the last two years, but I’ve never had a really edgy, severe cut. So I did it all at once, and lemme tell you, sister, if you want to do something that looks crazy to some people, but you really, really want to do it?
Go do it. Make yourself happy, and if someone doesn’t like it (unless it will get you fired and you really love/need your job)
FUCK ‘EM!
Get your freak on, and make it you!